Now that it's roughly a couple months later, and I have licked my wounds. I am brought to the scripture in the 

New Living Translation. It's Proverbs 24:16 "The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked".

The way it's worded here to me removes the option of living a spirit-filled life and giving into failures. It's impossible. Which means through our failures, we MUST not only GET UP, but GET STRONGER. 

So I am getting back up. As a practical exercise I began writing what I learned through this whole thing, as to not allow this to "overthrow" me.

-I learned it's wiser to stop something if it's not health, even if it works on paper
-I learned that the God inside me, is MUCH bigger then the i ever proclaimed him to be.
-I listened everytime my wife reminded me where I am weak, HE is strong.
-I realized that the a strong spirit is only really able to achieve full strength, once it is broken.
-Concentrated focus and prayer take you through the questions more then you know.
-A love for a community you know nothing about is impossible to develop unless you infuse yourself in that community.
-A love for a community should be the FIRST place you start, not a building.
-People will buy tickets to watch you fail
-I realized concentrated focus makes people uncomfortable
-I learned "unless the Lord builds it, the builders labor in vain" in more ways then one.
-I saw relationships develop around mission
-I saw the good and bad sides of character
-I truly realized you can plan all you want, but when you realease to God's leading, your plans are NEVER AS GOOD.
-I watched the greatest person around children I've ever met, step up and become a inspiration to me for her sheer dedication.
-I saw a couple leave comfortability, to serve the community they live in
-I learned the church has a 2 sided people. One of beauty, one of contradictions
-I learned sacrifice will take everything out of you
-I learned to not fear what others deem as failure, and to learn from my failures
-To mention that, I learned not to be afraid to say I failed. I failed! But I am definitely getting back up
-I learned people hurt when you fail
-I learned that's big

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