Last night I was invited by a gentlemen in our church to go to our local salvation army dinner.  The goal of the evening were to celebrate the wonderful things they have done in the past year, as well as recruit "bell ringers" for the upcoming Christmas season. Through all the celebrations and handing out of awards, I was wonderful to see what God has used incredible people (many who do it voluntarily) to do in West Chester. During dinner I was able to sit next to a woman who had been a bell ringer the prior year. As we began to dialogue I heard her story. A little over a year ago her 18 year old son took his life. Tears began to well up in her eyes and throughout the evening she would continually take brief moments to gather herself. I tried my best to encourage her, to let her know of loss I have had and how even though we never believe it at the time, it  DOES get easier. Tears turn to smiles, loss turns to recognizing the blessing that we were blessed to have the time we did, and life in general moves on. 
      I was in love with her story for one particular aspect. After her son took his life she began to go through his bible. She bought around 50 of the exact same bible and highlighted ALL the same scriptures her son had highlighted in his bible. Her goal was to find some of his friends, or anyone who has gone through loss and grief and give them to them. Strong is the heart of a mother. Stronger then grief.
The theme of the night was Salvation Army's general theme "Doing the most good". Nothing could have been more demonstrated to me that night then a mother who loved her child, and desired to do the "most good' out of a horrible situation. 
I was reading Pete Wilson's blog today and he spoke of a story where someone texted him this powerful scripture. It sums up where our hope, courage and faith comes from.

Lamentations 3:21-24The Message (MSG)
It’s a Good Thing to Hope for Help from God19-21 I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
    the taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed.
I remember it all—oh, how well I remember--
    the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there’s one other thing I remember,
    and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:
22-24 God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out,
    his merciful love couldn’t have dried up.
They’re created new every morning.
    How great your faithfulness!
I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over).
    He’s all I’ve got left.



 
Now that it's roughly a couple months later, and I have licked my wounds. I am brought to the scripture in the 

New Living Translation. It's Proverbs 24:16 "The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked".

The way it's worded here to me removes the option of living a spirit-filled life and giving into failures. It's impossible. Which means through our failures, we MUST not only GET UP, but GET STRONGER. 

So I am getting back up. As a practical exercise I began writing what I learned through this whole thing, as to not allow this to "overthrow" me.

-I learned it's wiser to stop something if it's not health, even if it works on paper
-I learned that the God inside me, is MUCH bigger then the i ever proclaimed him to be.
-I listened everytime my wife reminded me where I am weak, HE is strong.
-I realized that the a strong spirit is only really able to achieve full strength, once it is broken.
-Concentrated focus and prayer take you through the questions more then you know.
-A love for a community you know nothing about is impossible to develop unless you infuse yourself in that community.
-A love for a community should be the FIRST place you start, not a building.
-People will buy tickets to watch you fail
-I realized concentrated focus makes people uncomfortable
-I learned "unless the Lord builds it, the builders labor in vain" in more ways then one.
-I saw relationships develop around mission
-I saw the good and bad sides of character
-I truly realized you can plan all you want, but when you realease to God's leading, your plans are NEVER AS GOOD.
-I watched the greatest person around children I've ever met, step up and become a inspiration to me for her sheer dedication.
-I saw a couple leave comfortability, to serve the community they live in
-I learned the church has a 2 sided people. One of beauty, one of contradictions
-I learned sacrifice will take everything out of you
-I learned to not fear what others deem as failure, and to learn from my failures
-To mention that, I learned not to be afraid to say I failed. I failed! But I am definitely getting back up
-I learned people hurt when you fail
-I learned that's big
 
      My son Josiah James Smuda celebrated his 2nd birthday yesterday. He truly is my all time favorite male to ever grace the face of this earth. When I describe him, I literally can feel tears welling up in my eyes (as well as my 2 girls who are truly the apple of my eye....needless to say, I LOVE being a daddy). The story behind Josiah is this in a nutshell.
Jimmy feels called to leave preasent church (in Fla)
Jimmy takes a personal day to pray and goes to beach
Jimmy begins reading on king Josiah
Jimmy reads a old translation and commentary that reads how King Josiah "pissed" on the ashes of the false prophets who defiled the temple.
Jimmy LOVES King Josiah
God speaks to Jimmy (for only the 2nd time in his life he truly feels he hears the voice of God)
God says, your next child will be a son, his name will be Josiah, and he will restore worship in my house someday.
Jimmy still has no clue where he's moving to, but all in all Josiah is born almost 2 years later, and God wins...
There was something in my spirit yesterday that said I had to get my good friends (and pastors) to come annoint him with oil yesterday. I felt a quick jump to do it, and I still don't know why, but I know it HAD to be done. RIght there.
Do we know when God say's RIGHT NOW anymore?
 Do we need reasons, and measures always or are we able to rely on the fact that God said it, and I don't get it, but it needs to be done? (FAITH?) See if my friends wouldn't have come over to annoint him, I would have found OTHER friends because I knew that I knew that God called me at that moment to do such a thing (yet I'm so thankful they did). On his birthday, THAT'S what God wanted.

(Warning: Sharp right turn here)

Ezekiel. Read Chapters 1-3 and you see this beautiful convo between Ezekiel and the Lord that is like a manual for knowing when God is in the "RIGHT NOW" mode. God said do THIS right now! Then immediately followed the bible says "The spirit lifted me up" (a follow up). A word of God withouth the Spirit's follow up can easily be 
Preference
Opinion
Pride
Sin
GAS?

(side note: Just be thou careful using "thus sayeth the Lord)

     God says eat this scroll, shave your head, lay on your left side for over a year (talk about jumping through spiritual hoops). Yet because of your obediece THIS will happen  ( the fulfillment of his prophecies when Jerusalem was finally sacked by the Babylonians, and this leads to hundreds of tiny little connections throughtout scripture that are way to long in this obnoxiously long post). You never know WHAT will come LATER from obedience from Gods RIGHT NOW.
Ezekiel understood this. When God was in that RIGHT NOW MODE.
Can we say the same for:
Our families
Our ministries
Our lives
We plan for the future, cross t's, do I's, but may have lost the ability to know the RIGHT NOW, for what is to be LATER.
I have NO CLUE why God wanted him annointed with oil on 2-11-11. I just know that he did, and if I have to wait to find out, I'll tuck this day away in my heart.

jImmY